Getting Closer

We're getting closer and closer to the big day. The day we get married. It's getting very excited and nerve-racking at the same time. It's like looking forward to an impending situation that's out of your control that you know you're destined for and that you've wanted your whole life.

When it started out when we were dating, we had control of everything. We had our own lives, our own time, our own money... now it's as if when I proposed I somehow set up a time bomb and have been watching it tick. I can't stop it (frankly, I don't want to), and everything was set into motion by that one simple gesture, "Will you marry me?"

It's a scary feeling to lose control, but what I'm gaining is so much greater. For me though, it's now the feeling of responsibility for someone else. I'm now responsible for a family. Can I do it?

I know I can, but it's the change. The change of environment. This time last year I was coming home everyday to doing whatever the heck I wanted to do. Now, I'm getting off of work (6 days a week) and eating with her or doing something that's leading up to the wedding. We've had to do so much work... more accurately she's done most of the work. She's amazing when it comes to this stuff.

In the end, I feel like I'm falling towards an inevitable fate... but, what's cool about it is that we set this fate up at the beginning and now we're just playing it out, trying to be the best at our roles for the story as we can be. It's been fun, hard, and absolutely crazy at times, but I appreciate all of it.

I can't wait for us to just be married.