Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Goodness.

Ok, so I admit it, I suck at blogging. This is what? My first blog in like two months? Lemme look... Ok, one month. Either way, a lot has happened in a month. My job has decided to let myself and another co-worker do profit sharing which could potentially lead to much more financial security, Niki and I made it official... we're totally together now, and um... I still haven't gotten my car. How awesome is that?

Yeah, Ooh oh ohoh! I did however pay off almost all my credit card debts! I still owe some on a card but I'm keeping that little bit in there for a short while because I heard that having at least some debt is good for a credit score. So, I'm lookin' to maximize my score before I get my car so I can get a better loan percentage.

I think I still want the Mazda3. From what I've read so far, every person that's written a review who's owned the car has loved it. It's fast, affordable, freakin' sweet looking, and fuel efficient. Hot.

So, I really like Niki. I've been so cautious up to this point because I've been guarding my heart. But, since the 11th of May (eh-hem, the day we made it official) I've really allowed myself to take that risk. To put my heart out there for her... and so far, it's been awesome. She's been nothing but great to me. She's supportive, sweet, kind, sensitive, smart, funny, and very open. Oh, and she actually wants to do stuff with me. haha That's kind of nice. Sure, I have a lot of friends who like to do things with me... but this is a girl... WHO LIKES ME. What the heck? That's hot.

Seriously though, I think I may be falling for my girlfriend...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I'd vote for Barkley.

I love Charles Barkley. Because he was such a great basketball player? Not really, I didn't like him much when he played. Sure, as much as I didn't like him much, I had to respect the man's ability to play basketball. He's one of the greats. But, I'm not talking about his ability to play basketball now, I'm talking about who he is, the opposite of fake.

Perhaps that's why I didn't like him as a child. I loved Jordan's personality probably because he's most likely a fake. He probably just smiles to appease the media so that he can be liked. Someone that plays off that 'like' for selling the brand of 'Jordan'. Does it work? You betcha.

Barkley? Nope, he didn't care if you liked him or not. He just said what he believed and really meant it. He's actually sincere and real. Barkley was brash, arrogant, and honestly honest. As a kid I hated it, but now I'm finding that I can at least respect a person who isn't giving me a front, regardless of how abrasive I feel they are.

For this reason--and because he's got enough money to not want to go into politics just for the money--I think he'd be a great politician that can actually change things. This is exactly the right type of politician we need. Someone from the inside that we can trust.

The world would be better of with people who speak out and actually say the things that people avoid because they're afraid to offend.

He's not swayed by money, the dude's got plenty. He's not blinded by race, either.

It's because of quotes like this, "I don't create controversies," he has said. "They're there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention."

Or ... "You only get in trouble when you say what people don't want you to say."--Barkely, espn.com

Really, this man can change things. When he said that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are hypocrites, I was almost immediately hooked.

Charles, please do run. Let's see what someone who speaks what he really sees can do. Let's see how far a genuine person can go in our corrupt political world. I'll be rooting for you and I sure hope I won't be the only one.

Here's to someone who might actually be able to bring some real change.

--Brian

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Things

Been a while...

So, what's happened? Well, my time is gone. hah

It seems as though there's not enough of it in the day. Perhaps this is normal for normal people, but I'm not normal. My time is my most prized possession. Maybe when I can let that go I shall truly gain it back again. heh, the exact concept of what I 'should' believe in.

Either way...

To answer your question, No. That's not why I 'left' you.

It's too bad I haven't been able to really and completely say it all. I really did care very much for you enough to do what I felt was the right thing. I'm sorry.


Things are crazy right now. I have a gamut of feelings right now racing through me. I have a decision right now that's really facing me down. I didn't think I'd be making it this early. I just got exactly what I prayed for and then found another opportunity knocking at my door that would give me all the security that I could want right now. But, I'm stuck between loyalty and personal gain, but a good personal gain. It's an actual non-greedy gain. It's something that everyone would say, "Great decision. Good choice."

So, what's my problem? I cannot put myself into the best place for myself because of other people's feelings. I just wish I knew how people would feel if I did what was best for me. The thing is that this wouldn't only be good for me, it would be great for a family I may want to raise at some point. A future... security.

Oh and the A's line up this year? Already happened. I forgot to get back to you. Sorry. =/

As of right now, though? The A's are 9-5. Righteous.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Baseball Season

Oh yes! Here it comes! Baseball season. It's fast approaching and with it, my hope of a great year for the Oakland Athletics.

I absolutely love baseball. Why? I don't know. Let's explore this a bit...

What is it about throwing a small spherical object towards another person at a high velocity that's so fun? Perhaps it's the violence of it. I mean, comon, it's a violent act to throw a projectile towards a person, especially at a high rate of speed. But, none-the-less it's a fun pastime!

I've been an Oakland Athletics fan since I can even remember. I've collected the cards, the hats, and whatever else I could afford. I watched every game I could and it wasn't just the team as a whole, I loved the players. I loved watching each of them accomplish certain things in each game so every pitch was exciting. Then again, I'm such a stats person, I study them when I get a chance... I love stats. I love watching my favorite players do well in certain statistical categories and then go rank them against other stars in the league....

*sigh* I'm weird.

Oh well. Baseball season is coming! And not only does that mean that I'll actually be watching t.v. again but it means that Spring is coming! The days are going to be getting longer and that means I can go out more! I can play basketball, baseball, or whatever else I may want to do. I love this time of year... the mark of a fresh start!

This season the A's devastated a lot it's fans by trading away some of our favorite players; Nick Swisher, Danny Haren, Mark Kotsay, Marco Scutaro, and Jason Kendall. Well, I should say Billy Beane traded them away, but hey... he's the GM for a reason, so we've got to trust him, we just don't have to like him. :P

But seriously, we have a ton of young talent this year. I can't wait to see Barton play a full season at first base. It's going to be nice to see Travis Buck develope into one of the premier out fielders in the league, and he's definitely got the talent! It looks like Rich Harden finally has a good medical staff on board to help him out this year! haha

IF the A's can stay healthy and get some good production out of its new players, they're going to be a very dangerous team. The potential is there.

My projected starting pitchers this year if no other roster moves take place within the next few weeks:

SP: Joe Blanton
SP: Rich Harden
SP: Chad Gaudin
SP: Justin Duchscherer
SP: Lenny DiNardo?

-Blanton is a proven starter and a great innings eater. He has a solid era and can pitch far into ball games giving the bullpen great rest. He's also a quality starter throughout the year staying consistent from start to finish.

-Rich Harden is another "could have been" when unhealthy. When healthy, a top 5 pitcher in the league. He has a tremendous fast ball and change up. When his command is good he's an Ace of Aces... but when he's struggling he's very much hittable, and unfortunately he's known to have command issues at times. So, with the new training equipment and throwing program he's on, it should help his chances of staying healthy. I also hear he's been working on some new mechanics which may help with his command and risk of injury.

-Chad Gaudin was an accidental starter last year but proved he can be very effective. For a time he was right there with Dan Haren as one of the best pitchers in the league. But, injuries slowed him down and over the off-season he had surgery to correct a hip problem. This year, should he stay healthy, will tell whether or not he's as good as he's shown.

-The Duke, when healthy he's been an unstoppable set-up man. Injuries have slowed him down in the past couple of years but he's had time to recover this time around so hopefully he'll be able to really prove he belongs as a starter. We all know he has the potential and the pitches, it's just whether or not he'll be able to go the innings and stay healthy. Another upside is that with Alan Embree doing so well the A's won't feel so bad taking him from the Bullpin. So, this is his big chance!

-Lenny DiNardo was another surprise starter last year as the A's were having one of their worst injury plagued seasons they'd ever had. DiNardo stepped up and was a very very pleasant surprise showing that he could take down some of the best bats in the game. He was very good under pressure and stayed consistent. He's really the only Starter I've put down as being
questionable because of some of the rookies the A's have that have potential Ace status. And since the A's are rebuilding this year, they have just as much a chance at the starting job as DiNardo does. Besides, even if he doesn't make the starting gig, it would only make the A's already great Bullpin even better.




The next episode I'll talk about the starting position players and batting order.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Music (Repost)

Music. I think one of the most ultimate forms of expression. Amazing, beautiful, enchanting, moving, simple, yet complex. Music. It moves me forward and keeps me going. It's always changing and always fluid. When done right, it seems as though it stops time and you with it. When done wrong, it seems to break into your life and cause chaos in that moment.

Music... I cannot live without music. Try as I may, I cannot express how much it means to me. Not only to play it, not only to feel it, not only to hear it... but to really experience it. To immerse myself in it... to bathe in it. I may sound mad, crazy, whatever you will call it. But, the truth of the matter is that when I listen to simple, beautiful music I find that I am overcome with emotion.

I cannot fully explain why. Yet, with all my heart, I love it. It can move me like nothing else can. Happiness, joy, sorrow, pain, the indescribable feelings you get that you cannot explain. The feeling in your chest that grows when you hear it. Pushing its way up through your throat into your mind. Once there it rests for a moment only to overwhelm it. It then gracefully cascades forward into your eyes. To some, soft tears fall; to others, a smile. To me, my mind seems to sway into whatever it listens to.

Beautiful music. Oh what beautiful music... soft piano, skillfully played harps, guitar arpeggio... all of these as beautiful as the next. Yet, most beautiful when played with full emotion or feeling.

The most beautiful music to me when it is played with so much emotion that it pours itself inside of you and fills you to the brim. You cannot get away other than to turn the music--itself--off. But that would be ludicrous. Who could do such a thing? Not I. I must bathe in it and soak in all that it is. I feed off it. It is mine... at least for that moment.

I cannot live without music.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Getting Out

It's nice. I've been getting out a lot more. Ironically a lot of it has to do with my grandparents moving to town from Oklahoma. Considering that they're stuck in the house so often (well, my grandma at least, she's been sick) I'd still be thinking I'd be 'in' more often, if you catch my drift.

Yet, it seems that as I get used to being out I don't mind it. Well, actually I'd say that I'm less dependent upon that which I have at home. Perhaps the security I have at home is becoming less and my security in being out and making new memories has become more. I hope it's the latter of the two.

One thing I find about myself--I'm not sure if this is true of everyone else or not--is that that which I do mostly is what I'm want most. When I was going through a lot of depression (which I didn't admit to at the time) I found that I stayed in my house... like, 24/7. It was really bad. I'm a person who LOVES to be around my friends. But, it seemed as though the desire to be secure was won out more than my desire to go out and be with everyone.

I'm glad I'm at this point in my life. Now, if only I can get myself to be consistent with exercising again! I used to be in great shape, now I'm in A shape. haha More like a big ol' "O" shape. >.<

Today was a good day. In prelude to it, Jason and I have been watching movies almost every single night. And for most of you who know me know that I'm not a huge movie buff. I do enjoy watching movies, but I feel that when it's not a movie I feel I GOTTA see, I don't bother. If everyone else is watching it, then yeah, I'll watch it. So, this recent trend has been somewhat unexpected, even to myself.

I think knowing that Jason is going to be leaving to go to Sweden is making me realize that I'm going to miss him tremendously. He's been my best friend since Junior High. I think I'm also rediscovering our great times and making new great times as well. We've been having a great time watching great movies and making fun of the horrible ones--which is almost as fun as watching the great ones!

So today we hung out in the morning and ate a bit in our cold apartment. Afterward we went to my grandparents house and visited for a while until we went to a friend's wedding reception. I had a great time just visiting with everyone, I'm glad I went. I normally wouldn't go to such an event just because I often choose to stay home and spend time relaxing. Maybe I should shift my mind to realize that relaxing is something that only happens once in a while and that being out often is the norm. I'd actually appreciate myself more if my first reaction to 'going out' was a positive and actually excited one. Right now it's hesitant and I usually have to decide it against staying in thinking that I'd much rather be doing nothing.

After the reception, Jason and I went to see the Spiderwick Chronicles with Jordan. hah, why we went to go see a kids flick is beyond me, but I had a great time. Jason and I pretty much MST3K'd it. Awesome. Afterward, some awesome BF2 time.

So, here I am listening to Chevelle's new CD on my awesome headphones (that's another awesome) and writing in this blog. w00t

Well then, GOOD NIGHT, and I don't care what time it is for you. You have to go to bed now that I've said it. Sorry, it's science.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Last Few Days

Well then, seeing as how I have a horrible memory, it's probably a better idea to write one of these things everyday rather than every three. :( I'm probably not going to remember many details.

So, here we go.

Friday:

I pretty much went to work and when I got off I decided to do nothing. But, when I get home that's not the case. I started to work on a project of learning how to make mini images of cds and dvds. Supposedly simple, but it gets pretty complex when you add in the equation of copy protection.

Jason and I decided we'd like to eat at a little restaurant in town called the Pelican's Roost. It used to be solely Sea Food. But, a Japanese and Korean couple purchased it about a year and a half ago. They're not super fast with their service... but, they do their best and they're amazingly nice. Jason and I usually go there just because of them and because we want to see them succeed.... and because I absolutely love their fried zucchini. :D

So, it was 8:33pm when I called and asked,

"Hello, may I ask what time you close, please?"

He responded with something I didn't quite understand because of his Japanese accent.

So, I asked again, "Are you already closed?"

At this he said, "Oh, well... where do you live?"

Puzzled I said, "Well, Jackson."

With no hesitation he says, "Come on down! eat!"


At this point I'm thinking, well... I think they're open. So, I thank him and say, "Alright, I'll be there!"

So, Jason and I get there and the guy is waiting out in the empty seating area prompting me to feel instantaneously bad. As I walk in I ask, "you were closed weren't you?" He just assured us it was ok and said that he had nothing better to do and needed to do something productive! haha, what a nice guy!

So, Jason and I got a bunch of food and tipped them a pretty big tip. Oh, and I tried my Japanese on the poor guy. Let's just say there was laughter a-plenty. lol

But, I'm very glad we went. They're awesome people and it was good to get to know them better. I wish them all the best.






Saturday:


So, Saturday I woke up late because it's awesome to do so. Actually, it's not awesome to wake up at like 3 in the afternoon only to watch one movie and see the sun go down. What a bummer feeling. So, I never like to sleep in too late... but late enough. lol

So anyway, I watched some t.v. and then went to my grandma's. Helped out a bit and ate some lunch. Went back home to do more research on that mini image thing I was working on.

I then went to lunch with Shawna, Vanessa, and Kevin. They aptly named it the "Un-valentines-valentine-dinner". Clever.

By the way, I told by the waitress at Strings that I shouldn't treat my 'girlfriend' "like that". haha Oh man.

Anyway, after dinner we said our goodbyes and took a picture. It was good to hang out and see them again as we've not just done something like that in a long time. FIFTH ELEMENT IS CALLING, I CAN HEAR IT!

I get home and Jason, Kevin, and I decide that going to the movie would be folly, so we got some Ben and Jerry's Phish Food and watched Shoot Em Up. Eh', it was entertaining. Can't say it's on my 'must see' list.

After said movie I can't remember what happened. Sleep occurred shortly after my memory lapse.



Sunday:


Ah yes, today. Got up, went to Church. Came home and ate the rest of my food from Pelican's Roost (couldn't let it waste!), and some extra food from Strings. Leftovers aren't bad at all.

I relaxed just for a little bit and then had to go to the church to practice music with Brandon. After that we had our Worship band practice and then played for everyone at 5:30pm. After that we watched a really horrible comedian. I've never seen a comic that was good at putting me to sleep. I'll have to order one of his cassettes for when I can't seem to make it to dream land.

After that I took Brandon home, got some new clothes, and then ran to the movies. We watched Jumper which was alright. Good plot and mediocre character development (I could definitely write more about this) and a so-so ending.

After the movie we jetted to Denny's and ate some dinner. Fun fun. I actually didn't get sick. It's a first!

Played BF2 with Jason and Abe. Laughed. Here I am.