Baseball Season

Oh yes! Here it comes! Baseball season. It's fast approaching and with it, my hope of a great year for the Oakland Athletics.

I absolutely love baseball. Why? I don't know. Let's explore this a bit...

What is it about throwing a small spherical object towards another person at a high velocity that's so fun? Perhaps it's the violence of it. I mean, comon, it's a violent act to throw a projectile towards a person, especially at a high rate of speed. But, none-the-less it's a fun pastime!

I've been an Oakland Athletics fan since I can even remember. I've collected the cards, the hats, and whatever else I could afford. I watched every game I could and it wasn't just the team as a whole, I loved the players. I loved watching each of them accomplish certain things in each game so every pitch was exciting. Then again, I'm such a stats person, I study them when I get a chance... I love stats. I love watching my favorite players do well in certain statistical categories and then go rank them against other stars in the league....

*sigh* I'm weird.

Oh well. Baseball season is coming! And not only does that mean that I'll actually be watching t.v. again but it means that Spring is coming! The days are going to be getting longer and that means I can go out more! I can play basketball, baseball, or whatever else I may want to do. I love this time of year... the mark of a fresh start!

This season the A's devastated a lot it's fans by trading away some of our favorite players; Nick Swisher, Danny Haren, Mark Kotsay, Marco Scutaro, and Jason Kendall. Well, I should say Billy Beane traded them away, but hey... he's the GM for a reason, so we've got to trust him, we just don't have to like him. :P

But seriously, we have a ton of young talent this year. I can't wait to see Barton play a full season at first base. It's going to be nice to see Travis Buck develope into one of the premier out fielders in the league, and he's definitely got the talent! It looks like Rich Harden finally has a good medical staff on board to help him out this year! haha

IF the A's can stay healthy and get some good production out of its new players, they're going to be a very dangerous team. The potential is there.

My projected starting pitchers this year if no other roster moves take place within the next few weeks:

SP: Joe Blanton
SP: Rich Harden
SP: Chad Gaudin
SP: Justin Duchscherer
SP: Lenny DiNardo?

-Blanton is a proven starter and a great innings eater. He has a solid era and can pitch far into ball games giving the bullpen great rest. He's also a quality starter throughout the year staying consistent from start to finish.

-Rich Harden is another "could have been" when unhealthy. When healthy, a top 5 pitcher in the league. He has a tremendous fast ball and change up. When his command is good he's an Ace of Aces... but when he's struggling he's very much hittable, and unfortunately he's known to have command issues at times. So, with the new training equipment and throwing program he's on, it should help his chances of staying healthy. I also hear he's been working on some new mechanics which may help with his command and risk of injury.

-Chad Gaudin was an accidental starter last year but proved he can be very effective. For a time he was right there with Dan Haren as one of the best pitchers in the league. But, injuries slowed him down and over the off-season he had surgery to correct a hip problem. This year, should he stay healthy, will tell whether or not he's as good as he's shown.

-The Duke, when healthy he's been an unstoppable set-up man. Injuries have slowed him down in the past couple of years but he's had time to recover this time around so hopefully he'll be able to really prove he belongs as a starter. We all know he has the potential and the pitches, it's just whether or not he'll be able to go the innings and stay healthy. Another upside is that with Alan Embree doing so well the A's won't feel so bad taking him from the Bullpin. So, this is his big chance!

-Lenny DiNardo was another surprise starter last year as the A's were having one of their worst injury plagued seasons they'd ever had. DiNardo stepped up and was a very very pleasant surprise showing that he could take down some of the best bats in the game. He was very good under pressure and stayed consistent. He's really the only Starter I've put down as being
questionable because of some of the rookies the A's have that have potential Ace status. And since the A's are rebuilding this year, they have just as much a chance at the starting job as DiNardo does. Besides, even if he doesn't make the starting gig, it would only make the A's already great Bullpin even better.




The next episode I'll talk about the starting position players and batting order.

Music (Repost)

Music. I think one of the most ultimate forms of expression. Amazing, beautiful, enchanting, moving, simple, yet complex. Music. It moves me forward and keeps me going. It's always changing and always fluid. When done right, it seems as though it stops time and you with it. When done wrong, it seems to break into your life and cause chaos in that moment.

Music... I cannot live without music. Try as I may, I cannot express how much it means to me. Not only to play it, not only to feel it, not only to hear it... but to really experience it. To immerse myself in it... to bathe in it. I may sound mad, crazy, whatever you will call it. But, the truth of the matter is that when I listen to simple, beautiful music I find that I am overcome with emotion.

I cannot fully explain why. Yet, with all my heart, I love it. It can move me like nothing else can. Happiness, joy, sorrow, pain, the indescribable feelings you get that you cannot explain. The feeling in your chest that grows when you hear it. Pushing its way up through your throat into your mind. Once there it rests for a moment only to overwhelm it. It then gracefully cascades forward into your eyes. To some, soft tears fall; to others, a smile. To me, my mind seems to sway into whatever it listens to.

Beautiful music. Oh what beautiful music... soft piano, skillfully played harps, guitar arpeggio... all of these as beautiful as the next. Yet, most beautiful when played with full emotion or feeling.

The most beautiful music to me when it is played with so much emotion that it pours itself inside of you and fills you to the brim. You cannot get away other than to turn the music--itself--off. But that would be ludicrous. Who could do such a thing? Not I. I must bathe in it and soak in all that it is. I feed off it. It is mine... at least for that moment.

I cannot live without music.

Getting Out

It's nice. I've been getting out a lot more. Ironically a lot of it has to do with my grandparents moving to town from Oklahoma. Considering that they're stuck in the house so often (well, my grandma at least, she's been sick) I'd still be thinking I'd be 'in' more often, if you catch my drift.

Yet, it seems that as I get used to being out I don't mind it. Well, actually I'd say that I'm less dependent upon that which I have at home. Perhaps the security I have at home is becoming less and my security in being out and making new memories has become more. I hope it's the latter of the two.

One thing I find about myself--I'm not sure if this is true of everyone else or not--is that that which I do mostly is what I'm want most. When I was going through a lot of depression (which I didn't admit to at the time) I found that I stayed in my house... like, 24/7. It was really bad. I'm a person who LOVES to be around my friends. But, it seemed as though the desire to be secure was won out more than my desire to go out and be with everyone.

I'm glad I'm at this point in my life. Now, if only I can get myself to be consistent with exercising again! I used to be in great shape, now I'm in A shape. haha More like a big ol' "O" shape. >.<

Today was a good day. In prelude to it, Jason and I have been watching movies almost every single night. And for most of you who know me know that I'm not a huge movie buff. I do enjoy watching movies, but I feel that when it's not a movie I feel I GOTTA see, I don't bother. If everyone else is watching it, then yeah, I'll watch it. So, this recent trend has been somewhat unexpected, even to myself.

I think knowing that Jason is going to be leaving to go to Sweden is making me realize that I'm going to miss him tremendously. He's been my best friend since Junior High. I think I'm also rediscovering our great times and making new great times as well. We've been having a great time watching great movies and making fun of the horrible ones--which is almost as fun as watching the great ones!

So today we hung out in the morning and ate a bit in our cold apartment. Afterward we went to my grandparents house and visited for a while until we went to a friend's wedding reception. I had a great time just visiting with everyone, I'm glad I went. I normally wouldn't go to such an event just because I often choose to stay home and spend time relaxing. Maybe I should shift my mind to realize that relaxing is something that only happens once in a while and that being out often is the norm. I'd actually appreciate myself more if my first reaction to 'going out' was a positive and actually excited one. Right now it's hesitant and I usually have to decide it against staying in thinking that I'd much rather be doing nothing.

After the reception, Jason and I went to see the Spiderwick Chronicles with Jordan. hah, why we went to go see a kids flick is beyond me, but I had a great time. Jason and I pretty much MST3K'd it. Awesome. Afterward, some awesome BF2 time.

So, here I am listening to Chevelle's new CD on my awesome headphones (that's another awesome) and writing in this blog. w00t

Well then, GOOD NIGHT, and I don't care what time it is for you. You have to go to bed now that I've said it. Sorry, it's science.

Last Few Days

Well then, seeing as how I have a horrible memory, it's probably a better idea to write one of these things everyday rather than every three. :( I'm probably not going to remember many details.

So, here we go.

Friday:

I pretty much went to work and when I got off I decided to do nothing. But, when I get home that's not the case. I started to work on a project of learning how to make mini images of cds and dvds. Supposedly simple, but it gets pretty complex when you add in the equation of copy protection.

Jason and I decided we'd like to eat at a little restaurant in town called the Pelican's Roost. It used to be solely Sea Food. But, a Japanese and Korean couple purchased it about a year and a half ago. They're not super fast with their service... but, they do their best and they're amazingly nice. Jason and I usually go there just because of them and because we want to see them succeed.... and because I absolutely love their fried zucchini. :D

So, it was 8:33pm when I called and asked,

"Hello, may I ask what time you close, please?"

He responded with something I didn't quite understand because of his Japanese accent.

So, I asked again, "Are you already closed?"

At this he said, "Oh, well... where do you live?"

Puzzled I said, "Well, Jackson."

With no hesitation he says, "Come on down! eat!"


At this point I'm thinking, well... I think they're open. So, I thank him and say, "Alright, I'll be there!"

So, Jason and I get there and the guy is waiting out in the empty seating area prompting me to feel instantaneously bad. As I walk in I ask, "you were closed weren't you?" He just assured us it was ok and said that he had nothing better to do and needed to do something productive! haha, what a nice guy!

So, Jason and I got a bunch of food and tipped them a pretty big tip. Oh, and I tried my Japanese on the poor guy. Let's just say there was laughter a-plenty. lol

But, I'm very glad we went. They're awesome people and it was good to get to know them better. I wish them all the best.






Saturday:


So, Saturday I woke up late because it's awesome to do so. Actually, it's not awesome to wake up at like 3 in the afternoon only to watch one movie and see the sun go down. What a bummer feeling. So, I never like to sleep in too late... but late enough. lol

So anyway, I watched some t.v. and then went to my grandma's. Helped out a bit and ate some lunch. Went back home to do more research on that mini image thing I was working on.

I then went to lunch with Shawna, Vanessa, and Kevin. They aptly named it the "Un-valentines-valentine-dinner". Clever.

By the way, I told by the waitress at Strings that I shouldn't treat my 'girlfriend' "like that". haha Oh man.

Anyway, after dinner we said our goodbyes and took a picture. It was good to hang out and see them again as we've not just done something like that in a long time. FIFTH ELEMENT IS CALLING, I CAN HEAR IT!

I get home and Jason, Kevin, and I decide that going to the movie would be folly, so we got some Ben and Jerry's Phish Food and watched Shoot Em Up. Eh', it was entertaining. Can't say it's on my 'must see' list.

After said movie I can't remember what happened. Sleep occurred shortly after my memory lapse.



Sunday:


Ah yes, today. Got up, went to Church. Came home and ate the rest of my food from Pelican's Roost (couldn't let it waste!), and some extra food from Strings. Leftovers aren't bad at all.

I relaxed just for a little bit and then had to go to the church to practice music with Brandon. After that we had our Worship band practice and then played for everyone at 5:30pm. After that we watched a really horrible comedian. I've never seen a comic that was good at putting me to sleep. I'll have to order one of his cassettes for when I can't seem to make it to dream land.

After that I took Brandon home, got some new clothes, and then ran to the movies. We watched Jumper which was alright. Good plot and mediocre character development (I could definitely write more about this) and a so-so ending.

After the movie we jetted to Denny's and ate some dinner. Fun fun. I actually didn't get sick. It's a first!

Played BF2 with Jason and Abe. Laughed. Here I am.

Valentine's Day

Just another day. Of course this is coming from the perspective of a single male at the age of 25. I suppose it's a bit skewed...

To another point though, I've had the "together" Valentine's Day with a significant other. It's really just another day... but, I've found that it's just like any other day; whatever you make of it. So, people choose to pursue their love on the day based on someone else's suggestion...

*EH HEM* HALLMARK.


Today was a busy, fast, and satisfying day. After work Jason and I went to Mc D's and got some dirty, greasy, junk food. We were going to go see Jumper after that but decided to watch one of the movies I bought over the weekend. We ended up watching War.

Wow. I didn't expect that movie to end up like that at all. I'm still trying to figure it all out.


After the movie here I am. Bored? Perhaps.

Left out

It's not just a position in football. hah

Honestly though, it's an odd feeling. I suppose I never really feel this way too often. I suppose it's a good thing. I need to feel some sour so that when I taste the sweet it'll be all the better. It's funny how when I notice these types of negative feelings somehow I get shown that it's not actually a bad thing, but something to grow from.

Hmmm

I suppose the biggest trap of all is feeling sorry for yourself and waiting for someone to involve you into their plans or to go out of their way to get you involved. This is a good way to look pathetic and never grow.

Now, to involve myself.

I'm Sorry

You know who you are. I'm sorry, for the way you feel... and perhaps not being able to be there for you at this time. Things will get better, you know they will... they always do. But, I'm still sorry. I apologize that I've most likely let you down. I'm sorry I'm not the person you thought that I may be. I'm sorry that I'm a hypocrite.

But, through all of this, I'm sorry that I've had to do this for now...

Feeling Better

Ok, I talked to a friend. I'm feeling much better now. I had to get a few things out there and they were really supportive. Honestly though, I just know everything's going to work out for the better good at the end of it all. It's just difficult while you're in the midst of the storm.

I'm not as concerned now and I think I can rest easy. So, don't worry! =D

It looks like I'll most likely be able to stay here and get a new roommate. It's just a determination on when now. We shall see, we shall see.

Concerns.

Ok, so I guess I do have to be concerned now. It appears that my ability to be able to stay where I'm currently living is going to be directly dependent upon other people. I don't know whether to be angry, upset, or to just trust that everything will be fine.

In the last year I have moved twice. When I was first approached with the prospect that my roommate would be leaving sometime, I was a bit shocked but ok. "I'll just find another roommate", I thought to myself. In fact, I have one in mind... the only problem is that the person I have in mind doesn't want to move... so, that's a bit of a problem.

But, this week I have just found out that my roommate could be moving even sooner. At this point I wasn't too concerned still... but then I did some figuring and realized that I could be out of a place to live if another person doesn't come to live with me. Even worse is that he doesn't know when he'll be moving out. So, I stuck in that I don't have anything definite to say to a potential roommate prospect.

*sigh*

I suppose now my stomach is informing me that there is a bit to be concerned with. I--perhaps--could be moving 3 times this year.

I just don't know where...

Not At Work

There was once a time in my life that going to work was one of the cruelest things I could think of. Just having my life dictated by someone else, giving up my precious time to be somewhere for a pre-determined amount of time that I couldn't control; it just irritated me. But now that I work where I enjoy working, I'm finding it hard to tear myself away from it... even for a day off that I've needed.

Then again, do I really need it? I get every weekend off and I have stable hours that never change. It's one of the most consistent things I've ever had in my life. At times I don't like certain things about it, but honestly and over-all, I love it. It's a part of my life, a HUGE part of my life.

For me to get past the initial feeling of being somewhere I felt that I was being held prisoner, I had to accept this as part of my life. But now, I'm sitting here not at work trying to figure out something to do with work on my mind the entire time! I can't get it out of my head. I feel guilty not being there.

I mean, I'm not being paid for this day off. They don't need me there today. I think what's bothering me most is that I probably could really use that money that I'll be missing out on. Is that really the reason or is it that when this big part of my life isn't happening at this moment I'm finding that I don't really have an answer for something else to do. My routine is momentarily shattered.

Heh, I think I'm going to make an excuse and come in today at least for a half day... My computer needs to be cleaned out! Yes! That'll be it. That'll be my guise!

*sigh* I've not eaten. I've not brushed my teeth. I've just been sitting here doing nothing. I could re-arrange my room... but that would involve work, which I'm supposedly trying to stay away from today! Well then, it appears that I'm going to work at some point. hhmmm

I'm actually wearing my work clothes. This is a bad omen.

Here I come!

Decisions.

They are what they are. Difficult. Even if the right thing to do is the most clear thing to do, it just seems as though it's even harder to follow through with it. The right thing was never an easy thing to do. Almost always painful, but always rewarding in the end.

Decisions... to follow through. To make up your mind. To decide. To determine that one needs to do what seems to be unpopular at the time to make a greater decision for the present and the future.

Someday, perhaps when looked at from beyond this point in time, that it will be known that it was the right thing to do. What's best... perhaps, someday.