Not At Work

There was once a time in my life that going to work was one of the cruelest things I could think of. Just having my life dictated by someone else, giving up my precious time to be somewhere for a pre-determined amount of time that I couldn't control; it just irritated me. But now that I work where I enjoy working, I'm finding it hard to tear myself away from it... even for a day off that I've needed.

Then again, do I really need it? I get every weekend off and I have stable hours that never change. It's one of the most consistent things I've ever had in my life. At times I don't like certain things about it, but honestly and over-all, I love it. It's a part of my life, a HUGE part of my life.

For me to get past the initial feeling of being somewhere I felt that I was being held prisoner, I had to accept this as part of my life. But now, I'm sitting here not at work trying to figure out something to do with work on my mind the entire time! I can't get it out of my head. I feel guilty not being there.

I mean, I'm not being paid for this day off. They don't need me there today. I think what's bothering me most is that I probably could really use that money that I'll be missing out on. Is that really the reason or is it that when this big part of my life isn't happening at this moment I'm finding that I don't really have an answer for something else to do. My routine is momentarily shattered.

Heh, I think I'm going to make an excuse and come in today at least for a half day... My computer needs to be cleaned out! Yes! That'll be it. That'll be my guise!

*sigh* I've not eaten. I've not brushed my teeth. I've just been sitting here doing nothing. I could re-arrange my room... but that would involve work, which I'm supposedly trying to stay away from today! Well then, it appears that I'm going to work at some point. hhmmm

I'm actually wearing my work clothes. This is a bad omen.

Here I come!